PointingatamenumaynotbeagoodwayoforderingfoodinChineserestaurantsSothereIsat,lookingatthisrice,withabrownish-redliquidsplashedoveritinthenameofasauce,andworstofall,thespongychunksdonotlookortastelikeanymeatIhaveevertasted.Ijumpedupwithragetocomplaintothefuwuyuan(waitress)thatthiswasdefinitelynotwhatIordered.Well,thejumpinguppartIdid,thecomplaintpart,however,neverhappened.Istoodatthecountermouthagape,likeafishthathadjustbeenpulledoutofaperfectlywonderfullake.AlllanguagesthatIhaveeverspokeninmylifeflashedthroughmyheadlikeneonsigns,butnoChinesephrasescametomethatday.
Yousee,frommyfirstdayinBeijing,IwasluckytohavearoommatewhohadpreviouslylivedinTianjinforthreeyearswhileworkingonhisMaster鈥檚degree.WeactuallyflewinfromAccratogether.SoIwasluckyasmyfriendMikewaswithmeeveryday,orIratherfollowedhimaroundeveryhour.Donotblamemeonthatscore.IknewnowordofChinese,andeverythingsoundedlikewell鈥hinese.ButafewdaysafterarrivinginBeijing,hehadtotraveltoTianjin.IsurmisedratherarrogantlythatIcouldmaneuverthelanguagewaveofBeijingforonedayatleast.Afterall,Iwasnotplanningonmovingtoofarfromtheuniversitycampusinhisabsence.Theplanwassimple,grablunchandgetbackintomyroom鈥rabdinnerandgetbackintomyroom.AndhopefullyMikewouldbebackbythenextmorning,andmyroughtimewillbeover.Oh,howIoverestimatedmycapabilities.
Atlunchtime,IwalkedwiththeconfidenceofamanwhohasjustboughtanewArmanisuitandhasabankaccountfullofcashintooneoftherestaurantsoncampus,readytoorderandenjoysomegoodfood.Thatiswhenmytroublesstarted.HowtotelltheverynicefuwuyuanthenameofthemealIwanted?Oh,andwhatistheChinesenameforamenuagain?Likemanybravesojournersbeforeme,Iresortedtoatime-honoredcommunicationweapon:pointingandmakinggestures.Eventually,shefiguredoutwhatIwanted,riceandsomeprettynicesaucewithchunksofmeat(atleastsoIthought).IretiredtoaseatwithabottleofcokeIhadordered(yesIpointedthatout,too),waitingformybowlofriceandwonderfulsauce.
Aftersalivatingfor15minutes,thefoodcame,andmynightmareescalated.No,thiswascertainlynotwhatIordered.Spongymeatandsoupysaucewithrice?DefinitelynotwhatIpicked.Now,howdoIsaythatinChinese?FlashesofalltheGhanaianlanguagesIcouldspeakcameandwentinnanoseconds:Akan,Ga,Ewe,andmyownhometownGuan.IevenhadflashesofmylongforgottenFrenchlessonsfromthejuniorhighschool.Noneoftheseweregoingtobehelpfulinthissituation.Afterstandingthereforwhatfeltlikehourswithanopenmouth,IhadtoacceptthatChineselanguagehadjustwhippedmybackside.
Turningaroundlikeamanwhojustlosthisfortuneonastupidbet,Iwalkedoutofthatrestaurantwithmytailbetweenmylegs.Luckily,thereisalwaysaMcDonald鈥檚whenyouneedone.IwalkedasslowlyasIcouldtotheMcDonald鈥檚andgotmyselfachickenburgerandsomefries.IncaseyouarewonderingwhetherIdidnotneedtospeakChineseforthismeal,becauseasyouallknow,thereisalwaysthatexcitedMcDonald鈥檚teammemberinChinawhocanspeakEnglish.Inanycase,aburgerisalwaysaburger.
Ilearnedthetoughwaythatmytechnicalskillsteacherfromthejuniorhighschoolwasright:alwaysusetherighttoolfortherightjob,orinmycase,therightlanguagefortherightcountry.
ThewriterisaGhanaianstudentstudyinginBeijing
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